Water for the Win

Recently I have begun an every day routine of spending at least 20 minutes swimming laps in the pool.

I have my reasons. (There are always reasons....)

1.  I cannot imagine watching the Summer Olympics this year from my vantage point of being as old as (if not older) than many of the parents who will doubtless be featured in variations of those "up close and personal"athlete's stories, unless I am doing something, anything, that qualifies as active.

2.  Swimming is the one form of exercise I can enjoy outside right now without sweating.

3.  Once I pass a certain totally-made-up-in-my-head number of days pursuing this activity?  I will feel absolutely justified, if not obligated, to share that I'm swimming every day with everybody I speak to for a time span of over three minutes.  (Random folks I know who might be reading here?  Consider yourselves duly warned...).

I might even begin bringing it up with telemarketers rather than simply hanging up.
    
    Telemarketer:  May I please speak with AustinAgrodolce?


    Me:  Speaking


    Tmarketer:  How are you this evening?


    Me:  Pretty good, actually


    Tmarketer:  That's great.  I'm calling tonight on behalf of...


    Me: (interrupting) Say!  Do you exercise regularly?


    Tmarketer:  Um, I'm calling tonight to talk to you about....


    Me:  Because I've been swimming laps every day now for a while? And I'm really getting into it.


    Tmarketer:  Yes, well, I'm calling....


    Me: (Interrupting again)  I could probably help you get started with an exercise program all your own if you have a few minutes?


    Tmarketer:  ........

    Me:  Tell you what. Just give me your home phone number and I'll be happy to call you some night around dinner time, or maybe early on a weekend morning?  And we can talk about what YOU need to do to get back into shape.  I mean, sitting making phone calls all day can't be very good exercise, right?


Right???

By then if there is any justice in this world they'll have hung up on me, I can get back to watching the Olympics and peace will reign in all the land.  At least, all the land in my living room.